May 13th, 2019 Variety of Ways
Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
It feels like two steps forward, one step back with this feeling better stuff. I felt great yesterday afternoon and evening, then this afternoon, not as well. I took a nap, woke, and felt better. The medicine is clearly working–doing its thing. I’ll keep it up.
I made time for Noah’s t-ball game tonight. I love watching him out there. It brings such joy watching him be joyful. He had a great hit tonight too and scored a run! Go, Noah!
You can always tell when I find something on sale, like the top sirloin of late, or the red grapes that made it into my food plan for all three meals today. It was a good food day.
When I share food pics like this I run the risk of coming off like it’s all about the food. When I share pictures contrasting 500-pound me versus healthy weight me I run the risk of coming off like it’s all about the scale and physical transformation. But those things aren’t what it’s all about.
It’s about food sobriety. When we’re giving food sobriety the reverence it requires, those things take care of themselves. Do I have a good “program” in traditional recovery? No, to be frankly honest, I don’t. I’m working on strengthening my personal program. How we feel about ourselves, what we believe about ourselves, what we’re missing inside–what we didn’t get, what we don’t give ourselves–all of it creates an emotional and spiritual deficit, a hole if you will. To not stuff that hole with food is to be sober. We can give ourselves enough rails of support to be sober “enough,” and still not have a good program of recovery–and that’s what people in recovery circles call being “dry.” A lot of times, I fit the “dry” description much more than the “recovery” description. Often times, that empty feeling is pinned on circumstantial or in the moment things and happenings, but really–in my opinion and experience, it goes deeper. Much deeper. This is why I’m making weekly therapy sessions important right now.
And in answer to some questions I’ve recently received via email, it’s why I’m not doing more than I’m doing at the moment. “Why are you not releasing new episodes of your podcast?” “Why don’t you expand your one on one and group mentoring/coaching clientele?” “When will you do another live YouPlan Workshop?” These are all things I love and things I want to do more of, in time. Right now, I’m doing what I can do. I’m careful not to over-extend myself. I think that’s smart. And truly, the work I’m doing right now is helping prepare me to be better at those things.
The learning never stops, nor should it. I’ll never have it “all figured out,” all I can hope for is to have a good, solid daily practice of food-sobriety and a more solid grasp on recovery. One thing you can count on here is I’ll share it along the way, in a variety of ways, just like I’ve done the last ten-plus years.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
If you’re interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Also–I’d love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven’t listened before, you’ll find 20 episodes waiting for you!
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